KIEV, March 23- The black market
here in the Ukraine’s capital city
may not be just a key source for
night vision goggles and electronic
jamming equipment. It may be dirty
bombs that are the real money
maker.  

According to several US security
experts who have just completed
a study of the worldwide black
market in radioactive materials,
Kiev appears to be "where it's 
happening." The supplies here 
are both plentiful and
comparatively cheap, they reported
earlier today.

As to where it all comes from, one
expert stated, "Theres their own,
of course, and just over the
horizon there's about 5000 tons of
material the Russians stole from 
themselves in the late 80’s, and 
then when it didn't move fast
enough they dumped here and forgot
about it."

In regard to the local supplies,
a man who identified himself only
as a local high-tech trade 
consultant said, "Most fell out
backdoor of reactor. The rest...
well... who’s asking anyways? 
Maybe someone finds a stray warhead
or two lying around..."

"All I can say is, fissionable
material is as availible here as
bad watches are in Nigeria. And
it's probably even worse quality,"
the trade consultant said. "Used to
be we were known for painted eggs
and cucuchka dolls. Now we got
plutonium up the wazzingee." 

A top government spokesman, though
unwilling to confirm the existence
of the illegal trade in radioactive
products, did confirm missing 
domestic stocks.

"Yes, I’m afraid some is missing,"
the official said. Even from the
infamous Chernobyl site? 
"Regrettably, yes."

Asked if the necessary technical
support was also available, the
gentleman who identified himself as
a high tech trade consultant 
quickly responded, "Of course, our  
engineers are the real kicker."

"After all," he explained, "the
types looking to use these devices
aren’t exactly Andre Sakaharovs, are
they?"

"Consequently," he continued, "in
Ukraine, to have edge in market, we
offer our nuclear terror systems
absolutely turn-key."

"They are goof-proof, so to 
speak... That is, if you got the
hard cash."